The Jelly Bean and Me: April 2012

Living in a Christian Caucasian dominated Western country I have the benefit (?) of living with capitalism and Easter and Christmas holidays. I don't really believe in these holidays as a religious event but I do enjoy the time off. And as we don't really watch commercial television, the Bean doesn't get too involved in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus frenzy that occurs around those times of the year. However, no one is totally immune to such frenzies, we have extended family, and we need to shop for food. As one cannot avoid sparkly metallic paper in such shops, the Bean can be known to get a little caught up with the whole thing.

I struggle with this.

I hear parents threatening a non-arrival of such characters when bad behavior becomes intolerable and I choose not to use this technique (recently threatening to take away one's David Attenborough DVDs has been a highly effective parenting tool, instead). I don't threaten to take away these characters on a day to day basis, but I do internally threaten to take away the whole concept. I don't get super excited about the Easter egg hunt although I do enjoy sewing a new item onto the Bean's Santa sack every year.

I do love giving him presents. And I certainly don't want to take away the concept because I want the credit, I just like birthday presents more. And get much more excited about New Year's Eve fireworks than Christmas morning consumerism. In some ways I wonder if telling someone with a very strict sense of logic and truth and fantasy (although this can be manipulated by him frequently) about the arrival of bunnies and men in red suits for the purpose of buying and receiving presents may be confusing and, even, mean.

I feel in many ways, hypocritical about participating in these events. I don't have religious affiliations although I do believe in the universe and the collective human consciousness. I believe in karma in terms of acting towards others how you'd like to be treated yourself, because I can see how this, logically, makes sense. But in saying that, I'm not sure that karmic debt is something I can see as feasible when it comes to having faith in 'the other'. I want my son to be kind. I want him to care about the environment. I want him to be aware of his decisions and his impact. I want him to know that washing dishcloths is much better than buying disposable ones. That disposability is not more hygienic than simply being clean. I want him to be aware of the plastic he buys and to make more sustainable, recyclable decisions. I want to teach him the beliefs that are important to me.

I don't really know about the whole consumption and obligation that is involved in these religious holidays. I don't really know about the 'tricks' involved in the characters of these events. I don't really know that I want to make him cry later on when he discovers the truth about such characters. I remember being heart broken and couldn't understand why my parents would have 'lied' to me for so long, despite justifications and explanations about the spirit of these events and these characters. I have an innate sense of truth and logic, too.

I'd like the spirit of life and sharing to be innate in his sense of self, rather than on any particular day for reasons that seem to have been very much lost over time.

I'd like him to share all the time. To celebrate life every day. To be thankful for all that he has. And to be joyful.

Every moment.

Things The Bean has said:

1. The Bean was reading a dragon book, out loud, while a couple of my friends sat on the couch chatting. He got increasingly louder in order to be heard over their conversation.

Me: Honey, you don't have to be so loud.

TB: I'm not. I'm just asking C and B what they see in the picture.

Me: But you're being bossy.

TB: I'm not being bossy, I'm just the captain of everything about dragons.

2. Itchy.

TB: Look at these mozzie bites.

Me: They're chicken pox, babe.

TB: Chicken Box bites?

3. In a fossil cave 1 (To the tour guide)

TB: How did the people make this big massive cave?

4. Me: Don't pick it!

TB: I'm just scratching it... Actually, I'm in a hiding place. I'm going to hide in a hiding place and you won't see me and you'll say 'Where's the Bean?' and I'll say, 'I'm picking my nose!' and then when I'm finished I'll come out and then you can see me again.

TB: Mama, I was thinking about something.

Me: What are you thinking about?

TB: I was thinking about a bridge that goes over the whole world and it's a trampoline and when you jump you fly over the world.

6. In a cave 2

TB: How did you make all these bones down there?

Tour Guide: The animals fell down there a long time ago.

TB: How long?

TG: Nearly 4.5 million years ago.

TB: Whoah that's really big!

TB: Do swordfish fight?

Me: I love you to the stars.

TB: I love you to the moon and back!

Me: I love you to the sun!

TB: I love you to that truck.

Me: Hahahaha, which truck?

TB: A really, really big truck.

Me: Hahaha, ok.

TB: Mama, you're turn.

9. Dandenong Ranges in the distance.

TB: Look at that cool hill. We should go explore that hill. When we go on adventures all around the world we should explore that hill and also Chelsea.

10. In a cave 3

TB: How did you put those dinosaur bones there?

11. In a cave 4.

TB: How did all the mammals die?

12.

TB: You know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about a magic circus that was covered in sunshine. The rain just exploded.

Me: You mean the rain couldn't make it wet?

TB: Nah, the sunshine was over the circus all the time.

Me: That sounds like a pretty special circus.

TB: Yeah, it is.

13. Inspired by Sir David Attenborough 1

TB: I want to talk about this snake that turns into a car. It's called the 'Ultimate Car Change Snake'.