The Jelly Bean and the Dragon...

Because we all need a true friend..

One that likes the same stuff we do..(Like watching Dinosaur Train)

(And playing cars...)

One that appreciates Mamas...

One we can share food with..

One that let's us be affectionate, and reciprocates that love...

One that likes to play...

And one that can tell us when it's time to stop...

Things the Bean has said:

1. BDC (Before Dragon Cat)

Me: what are we going to call our new kitten?

TB: I don't know. I'll just read the tag.

2. BDC

TB: Mama, I don't want to call him Dragon Cat anymore.

Me: Why? I think it's a rad name!

TB: But I don't want him to fly away.

3. At the RSPCA

TB (to the adoption assistant): Will he fly away?

AA: What? Cats can't fly.

Me: No he's worried because..

TB: No, he's a dragon cat. Dragons fly!

AA: It's ok, he won't fly away.

TB pauses: Can we take him home now?

4. ADC

TB: Mama, I love Dragon Cat so much. Do you love him?

Me: Of course.

TB: He loves us. Is he staying here?

Me: Yup, he's in our family now.

TB: I love him, Mama.

Me: I know honey.

TB: He lives with us.

Me: He's your cat forever now.

TB: Good.

5. ADC

Me: Stop chasing the cat.

TB: Why?

Me: Because you'll frighten him and if he gets frightened of you he might run away when you want to play.

TB: But I love him.

6. ADC

Me: Don't squash his feet/pull his tail/pick him up like that/wake him up/lie on his tummy so hard/put cushions/your feet on him/chase him under the bed/table/behind the couch...

TB: But why?

Me: Because he has feelings/you'll hurt him/you'll scare him/he's asleep/he doesn't like it..

TB: But I love him, Mama... SO much!

So I don't forget - USA Adventures Part II

Here are the crazy/cool things we did on the second part of our trip (yes this is a few weeks late, but obviously, we were having WAY TOO AWESOME a time for me to write blogs!! - either that or I was so completely knackered towards the end of the trip that typing on the iPad after the Bean went to bed was just too much for my poor little brain):

6. Savannah, Georgia

- Was my ULTIMATE USA favourite. I even investigated the cost of real estate

- We arrived well into the evening on the AMTRAK train from Charleston. THIS was one of THE most important aspects in the lead up to the USA trip. The Bean had to keep checking how many more sleeps 'til the Amtrak train, it did not disappoint

- We slept in a converted carriage house of an OLD Antebellum house in the Historic district

- We walked the red brick/cobbled streets that were bumpy and beautiful

- I am in love with Oak trees and Spanish moss

- we visited most of the 22 squares of the historic district. A square is not really a park, but it kind of is - Savannah has a square every two blocks, each way. You can see the ones around from the one that you're in, some have statues, most have memorials to dead confederate heroes or significant historical figures, some have fountains. They all have somewhere to sit, the Bean loved the fountain ones the most. The are all filled with moss and oaks. I drank a lot of coffee, sitting down looking around, then we walked in between and then sat down again.

- I took a lot of photos

- The Bean did some 'running'

- We walked along River street and up behind River street with the brought from 'The Old World' cobble stones and the ridiculously little steep steps. (People must've had super small feet and really big thigh muscles back in ye olde times)

- We got a ferry steam boat across the river and back, a couple of times

- We ate at Paula Deen's (til we nearly burst of Southern cooking)

- we had a Southern Cooking lesson

- we went to Bonaventure cemetery and I have never seen a more peaceful, calm and quiet destination for one's eternity ever before. It seemed planned but organic, trees and statues and angels and history oozed from everywhere

- We ate some banana bread on Conrad Aitken's grave/seat. I also read him a Conrad Aitken poem and maybe cried a little bit.

- We saw the Mercer/WIlliams house

- I bought a second hand hardback signed copy of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil which most everyone in Savannah simply calls 'The Book'

- We visited Forsyth Park and The Bean ran around for a couple of hours, I watched people and he was in awe of the giant white fountain and we listened to a brass band. The sky then got so black so quickly and the rain poured down and everyone left at the same time.

- On the bus I got so confused as to which way we were facing (they turn around a LOT of corners) that one night when we got into a cab to go back to the hotel, I thought the cab driver was taking us in the complete opposite direction

- We missed out on eating at Mrs Wilkes' dining room which I'm told is a real tragedy

- We visited the Georgia State Railway Museum which needless to say was The Bean's favorite by far.

7. New Orleans, Louisiana

- If I hadn't been to Savannah, New Orleans would be my Ultimate favorite, but I have, so it is my photo finish second favorite

- we listened to as much free jazz/blues/cajun tunes as we could - from buskers to cafe session bands to market musos to Rangers (literally) from the Historical Jazz park - Louis Armstrong Park at the edge of the French quarter

- We wondered the French Quarter for days, we ate at touristy disasters and tiny little cafes sharing space and beignets with sparrows

- The Bean broom danced with one of the loveliest homeless men I've ever met and we heard his tragic story

- The Bean got on stage to play drums with a jazz band

- we walked around at night time

- I didn't like Bourbon street and The Bean thinks it smells bad (it does)

- We saw Tennessee Williams' house

- We caught a paddleboat up the Mississippi

- We ate a lot of shrimp

- We went on a voodoo and cemetery tour although it was more cemetery and less voodoo as the Anthropologist Master tour guide was not in favor of the voodoo priestess that the tours generally visit as she scared the crap out of people and she didn't think that would be very Bean friendly. The Bean and I love Southern cemeteries

- We found another little train museum right next door to the cemetery to visit.

- We spent a day at City Park walking along bayous, going to the museum of art, looking at the sculpture park and running to catch street cars

- We met a friend that I'm sure will remain so a very long time. We stayed in her hotel and we shared food and tears and company and stories. She gave The Bean Mardi Gras beads and he thought that was simply fantastic

- We loved Royal Street

- We returned early because New Orleans was home and the road trip around Louisiana was not what I'd imagined.

To Be Continued....

Things The Bean has said:

1.

TB: Aaaaaagggguuughghghghghhggiigigogghghhhghggughghghghg

Me: Ugh, what IS that noise?

TB: It's a police dinosaur train. There's a dinosaur emergency! Weeeeeooohhh Weeeeeooohhh Weeeeeooohhh

There's a dinosaur dead somewhere with all its skin off and its bones broken.

2. The Bean had been talking the 'voice' of the train he was playing with for some time.

TB: I think I need to go to the toilet.

Me: You do or the train does?

TB: I do, trains don't go to the toilet, they just stay on the track. They don't have a bottom, Mama, they're too long.

3. There was a crash noise from the toilet.

TB: Hahahahaha Mama, guess what?!

Me: What?

TB: The toilet paper roll just did a back flip into the rubbish bin.

Pride (In the name of love...)

When I was a teenager I was so fit and ready to play any sport that came my way.

When I was in my early twenties I thought I was fat. (I was ridiculously skinny at times)

When I was in my late twenties I had a Bean and saw some of the amazing things my body can do - like grow whole other humans and stuff.

In my early thirties I feel like I've pushed a new boundary of what my body can handle, and recuperate from, but it's not the body I once had. It's not the body I once had that in hindsight was awesome but I never liked then. At times, I like it SO much less now. But it's mine, and I will never be as young as I am today.

But I sometimes feel as though I am watching my son's body grow by the second. I am watching him change.

I was at a birthday party for one of the Bean's friends today and I was talking to some other mums I met a few years ago. I laughed so much that we are now the ones that are complaining about our wrinkles and our weird face hairs and me, the lucky one that I am, that still gets crazy hormone pimples to go along with my wrinkles and my weird face hairs (I'm a living breathing example of all possible stages of face rolled into one person!! What the what?!)

But this week I have watched my Bean with new eyes...

I guess it's because I'm so aware of his age all of a sudden. SInce coming back from our trip it has been all about school/kinder/birthday parties/appointment making/conversations about how he's coping at kinder the second time round/how tall he is/the ankle bashing length of his jeans that fit fine when we were in San Francisco.

But today I have never been more proud. And this is not a thing about Asperger's or a 'wow look how amazing my son who might struggle with stuff is' thing (eloquent, I know) but this is a 'I'm so proud of my son' thing. And because blogs were invented for people to talk about themselves, today I'm going to use mine like every other parent on the planet might use one, to brag about my Jelly Bean.

A very warm and caring friend of mine quoted this from the Australian Autism Handbook- in his beautiful blog about his son, Zachary http://www.zacsautismjourney.blogspot.com.au -

"Most parents only celebrate when their child achieves the extraordinary. For us, achieving the ordinary IS extraordinary and we get to celebrate everyday!'

- Barbara Morrow, mother of Alistar.

This week The Jelly Bean:

* displayed such honest and unprompted kindness to a friend of mine who was sad (although I did prompt him to get her some tissues). He went to his room and his toy boxes and brought her train after train and explained them all to her and showed her the cool whistles and funnels and wheels. To try and cheer her up. It would be something that would cheer him up and I could just see him trying to make her not cry anymore.

* removed himself from a room full of children shouting over cool birthday presents (at his friend's party) simply because it was 'too noisy in there, Mama'.

* explained, to me, the inside of a cubby house at his friend's house, even down to the 'lovely plant growing near the wall' that to anyone else's eyes, was a weed growing through the cracks.

* understood the reprimanding he got when he push/punched another boy away. The boys were all playing chasey and when one held onto The Bean for too long he freaked out and tried punching his way out. I pulled him aside immediately.

Me: We don't punch people.

TB: But he had hold of me, Mama and I couldn't get out.

Me: I know babe, but we don't act like that. It's violent and yucky. What should we do if we want someone to let go?

TB: Say stop it I don't like it.

Me: That's right.

TB: Because we don't want to hurt anyone.

Me: No, we don't.

* got praised by his Rock Band teacher who said last Saturday that The Bean had had the best lesson he'd ever had. Listening and completing the tasks really well. Then today after Rock Band, his teacher said he'd remembered ALL the stuff from last week. Playing drums and singing.

* followed a four step instruction. Perfectly (I'm crying as I type this one).

After his shower.

Me: Ok, babe. I need you to get dry. Hang up the towel. Put your pyjamas on and get into bed. I'm going to go hang out the washing and come straight back in and I want you in bed when I get back, ok?

TB: Ok, Mama.

I walk out to the clothesline, which is directly next to the back door. A few minutes later...

TB (through the fly screen on the back door): Hey, Mama. Look!

He was dressed.

And everything was on the right way.

Me: That's SO ace, babe. Well done!

TB: You will come in and kiss me goodnight in my bedroom when you're finished won't you?

Me: Of course honey, I'll be straight in.

Things The Bean has said:

1.

TB: I've got a new game, it's called The Octonauts and the upside down Angry Birds.

2. About having a Route 66 birthday cake.

TB: We MUST do that, it's going to be super engine funny!

3. Parental win.

TB: I really love myself, Mama.

Me: That is so awesome, we should love ourselves.

TB: And I love you, too. SO much.

4.

We drove past a lot of emergency vehicles at a railway crossing near our house. At first we thought it had been derailed but we found out later after talking to a friend that a pedestrian had been killed, but they were unsure if it was suicide or accident;.

TB: Mama, that train didn't fall off the train tracks. Maybe that person just didn't hear the ding dings. Maybe they just thought it was birds singing...

Me: I hope so babe.

5.

Me: So J said you sang some songs in rock band today. Could you sing one for me?

TB: No, I don't think so.

Me: Oh come on, I'd love to hear it. Do you remember one?

TB: I can't sing it to you, Mama. It's just too special.

another year

The Bean turns five tomorrow.

I was watching one of my friend's babies at The Bean's birthday party and she is so little and so adorable and so excited by being able to wave that I truly wonder where the time has gone. How many days I've spent not paying attention or just doing my thing when The Bean wanted to hang out or me to read to him? How much guilt a parent has about going to work and doing the house stuff and not being with their kids is ridiculous. I know I've got to cook dinner, because he is always telling me how hungry he is, but he wants me to read him a book right now! And I try to find a good work life balance. But the guilt is there. Because at the end of the day, I sometimes just don't want to talk about trains.

Or dinosaurs.

Or the latest edition of awesome - the TV show "Dinosaur Train".

But in my way I guess I'm making time for him. I take him away on adventures. And sometimes not all of the adventure is quality time. But we hang out, 24/7, sharing space and experiences and sights and smells and sounds and company (I'd like to put we share food but my son has not grown into his tastebuds yet and still loves the boring 'kids' menu'. Opting out of certain restaurants in the States for not accommodating such culinary delights as Nuggets and Fries, Cheese and Ham pizza or Mac'n'cheese. Although he did delight in Popcorn Shrimp [or chicken fried shrimp] which delighted and astounded me as I actually lied to him at the time of ordering because the kids' menu at this particular restaurant only had shrimp on the kids' menu and the popcorn was the only close to tantrum-less option I was given). We do spend weeks away from the routine together and I'm not gonna swap that for anything.

But the day to day, scares me how fast it goes.

My baby, who only yesterday was delightfully learning how to wave and eat and crawl and say Mama and walk and dance and run and look at books and listen to cool music and draw and tell me all the names of the dinosaurs, is now a giant human. He will be at school next year. He will get a new bag and a new uniform and a lunch box (filled with hippy treats that he probably won't eat, save for a banana and the cheese sandwich on grainy bread).

He already makes deals with his best friends over who is going to come and ask me for more lollies or cake or donuts or other such horrible sticky things that they only get once in a blue moon. He already runs around outside with these friends and returns only for more drinks or when they're arguing. An extra layer of dirt and weird neck line dust every time.

He's growing up.

Soon he'll be pashing girls and driving and getting drunk and coming home late and going to university and smoking pot and scaring the living shit out of his mother.

Daily. Nightly.

And I'm not exactly sure that I'm ready for that.

Things The Bean has said:

1. I'm cooking.

TB: Are they proper flatbreads? Did you make them with flour?

2. From the couch while reading.

TB: Do you know what I'm going to be when I grow up?

Me: What, baby?

TB: A dad!

Me: Really? That's cool. You want babies?

TB: No, not little tiny babies, or big babies, just kids.

Me: Hahahahaha... They have to start as babies.

TB: Nah. *pause* Do you know what I'm gonna be?

Me *confused*: A dad?

TB: No *points to train*. This one, I'm gonna be this train...

3. After the bath.

TB: I love my tummy.

Me: I love your tummy, too.

TB: Do you love your own tummy?

Me (gah, body issues): It's ok.

TB: No you have to LOVE your own tummy.

Me: Ok, I love my own tummy.

TB: *pause* I have squashed in boobies.

Me: Boys don't really have boobies do they?

TB: No, do little girls have squashed in boobies?

Me: Yup.

TB: Do girls have dangles?

Me: No, only boys have dangles.

TB: No, girls have little tiny dangles, actually.

Me: Nah, just boys.

TB: *pause* But you have to share.

Me: What?

TB: Boys have to share their dangles.

4. A phone call from the child with diagnosed Aspergers to the Papa without a diagnosis.

Me *on the phone to Dad but talking to The Bean*: Now you have to say 'Hello, How are you?' to Papa before you tell him about your new train.

TB: Noooooooooooo! I don't want to say that anymore!

Me: It's good manners.

TB: But I don't like it!

Papa: I can understand that.

5. Bargaining about dinner, I'd told The Bean he had to eat ten more spoons of his dinner before he was finished. After a little while...

Me: Ok, it's only seven more spoons.

TB: No Mama, actually, it's eight.

6.

TB: I'm going to save up all my money to get a hot rod when I'm an adult.

Me: What kind?

TB: A rainbow one.

7. To my friend Dave whose fiancee is pregnant, as I clean The Bean's face...

Me: See you're gonna love this when your bubba comes. You're legitimately allowed to put spit on someone's else's face to make them clean.

TB: It's not clean, Mama, it's ew.

8. Chores.

Me: Can you put the cutlery away, please.

TB: (unspellable whiney noise) Whyyyyyyyy?

Me: Because it's your job and you didn't have to do it the whole time we were in America but now it's back to normal.

TB: *pause* My toe hurts.

Me: Ok, well we'll put paw paw cream on it after you put the cutlery away.

TB: Why?

Me: 'Cause of the yucky mozzie bite.

TB: It wasn't a mozzie it was a crab.

Me: A crab? When did a crab bite you?

TB: It came into the house and bit my toe.

Me: Why would a crab come into the house and do that?

TB: It has nippies.

9.

TB: Where did you get that t-shirt?

Me: At the Soundgarden concert. I went there the other night when you stayed at Ninna and Papa's house.

TB: Hmmm.

Me: Next week I'm going to the Incubus concert, too. Woooh!

TB: Incubus?!

Me: Yup.

TB: When you go you should do lots of random dancing.

10.

TB: I love you.

Me: I love you. Do you know what 'I love you' means?

TB: I know what it means.

Me: What?

TB: It means we're together. And if you don't have a friend that lives with you that's a bit sad.

11.

Me: Did you have a good birthday party?

TB: It was so so so fun!

Me: Awesome. What was the funnest part?

TB: The Route 66 cake!