1. A few hours after we had to cancel on a friend for lunch, because my car wouldn’t start...
TB: Thomas is very sad because my car is broken, mama.
Me: Yeh he is babe.
TB: It’s ok, I’m going to get my car fixed, Spongebob said he’d fix it.
Me: Ok.
TB: My car isn’t in the old town though, he said he's going to fix it right now.
Me: What? Did he?
TB: Yeh.
Me: Which car is broken?
TB: The red one, it just doesn’t have any batteries in it.
Me: Hmmm
TB: But Mama there isn’t any money on my credit card to fix the car.
Me: Hahahaha, I know how that feels.
TB: Yeh, everyone is completely very sad that my car is broken.
2. After a day of car hunting, grouching at The Bean in order to stop him from scratching cars we couldn't afford with rocks from the car yard and other too many coffees related outbursts, we get to the end of the day and he's STILL taking his sweet ass time getting his pyjamas on..
Me: Jelly Bean will you please HURRY UP!
TB: Mama, are you still breaking my balls?
3. On the computer watching the 'Sweet Child o' Mine' video
TB: Mama, you be the singer and I’ll be the guitar
4. Gastro Part 1.
TB: Why is my bottom still doing this?
5. After we decide on a new car.
TB: Mama, your new car looks weird.
6. Gastro Part 2.
TB (calling out form the toilet): Mama, I'm finished!
Me (walking in): Phwoar, gross man. Quick get up so we can flush the toilet.
TB: Wait mama, I just want to look at my poos for a minute
7.
TB: Mama do you have a doodle?
Me: No babe, why?
TB: Cause you have to do wees
Me: I’m a girl, girls do wees differently to boys.
TB: You do sit down wees
8. Gastro Part 3.
TB: I’ve just done ten poos out of my butt.
9. Everything falls apart in one day, car doesn't start, laundry floods, Will's computer gets a virus and keeps flashing the blue screen of death, I get the vacuum cleaner out and the tube comes off…
Me: What the HELL?! Everything is falling apart today, the effing vacuum cleaner and the washing machine and Will's computer…
TB: But you can’t do anything about it mama.
Me: What?
TB: You can’t do anything about Will’s computer or the vacuum cleaner.
Will: Thanks, man.
10. Gastro Part 4.
TB: Mama, what colour are your poos?
Things The Bean has said:
TB: Hey mama, let’s go do some girl’s things
Me (Outraged!): What?! What are girl's things?
TB: You know, like, cooking and washing up and stuff…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Cracking up. Mate, the Jelly Bean and me should meet. We can have hours of fun discussing poos. I would LOVE to meet him.
ReplyDeleteMy favourite: "TB: Why is my bottom still doing this?" Loads of love to you both