Definition of a Bean - circa 3.5 years old

I felt like writing a list.

Here are the things that are typical of my Jelly Bean as he stands today, just gone three and a half years old.

1. His diet consists of food that he thinks are his favourites 'cause they're yum but have secret hidden nutrition therein
- My homemade Sausage Rolls (secret mushrooms, onions, carrot, zucchini, egg, garlic, capsicum)
- Special Cheesey Eggs (Mushrooms, spring onions, tomato, capsicum - and even sometimes tofu!)
- Special Orange Soup (everything orange you can think of on the vegetable scale! Plus a few white vegies that won't change the colour)
- Special Dip (Either home made Tsaziki or Tuna dip with grated cucumber, spring onions and garlic)
- Spaghetti (Everything I can get in there, including lentils, beans and 'leaves' with a few tins of tomatoes to make him think it's just spaghetti sauce!)
- Pita Bread Pizza which he helps to make - the sprinkling of sliced mushroom, tomatoes, spring onions and rocket leaves make such things edible if you get to do it yourself
- Plus a standard breakfast of a banana, 2-3 Vita Brits and 2 pieces of bloody fruit toast (no inherent nutrition - this is where I have an epic fail!)
- Snacks of either Brown/Purple/Blue/Green yoghurt - depending on the colour of the lid/container!

2. He loves planes, trains and automobiles. This is an often returned to topic of conversation, irrespective of time of the day or length of previous conversation about planes, trains or automobiles.

3. He has numerous 'best' friends - including, Kade, Daniel, Ella, Ben and Will, and today it's Ethan.

4. He has zero skills in getting his dangle to actually wee in the toilet. Bloody men!

5. He has become a little obsessed with talking about his dad, that's ok, and I've shown him photos and explained some things, but his little brain doesn't really get it, yet.

6. He wants to go on a 'Globbily Train'. It's either silver or white and if anyone has ever seen one could you please explain what it is to me, as I have no idea.

7. He loves dinosaurs but they seem to only be played with whilst in the bath.

8. He still wants to have a bath in the baby bath sitting in the base of our shower. I'm not sure what's going to happen when he really doesn't fit in it anymore. The skinny-stringiness of The Bean allows for his little butt to fit in it now so we'll cross that proverbial bridge when we get to it, I guess.

9. He loves going to Creche, the Brown Park (???), the Lighthouse Park and Ninna and Papa's.

10. He wants to go to Kinder and School "Right now!"

11. He told me I need to get him a yellow coat for when he goes to school and I flatly refused, no child of mine is going to where a bloody yellow school uniform - ew!

12. He doesn't unerstand when people are tricking him - one of his teachers at creche tried to playfully block him from the door one day when I picked him up. She told him he had to stay with her all night. He looked at me and burst into tears.

This morning I tried to trick him when he told me the sunshine was out and it was time to get up. I said it was just the moon. That I was going back to sleep. He looked at me confused and when I smiled he said, "No Mama, it's the sunshine. You can't go to sleep anymore."

13. His favourite words are - difficult, train, racing car, globbily, boat, exciting, 'alaysia, aeroplane, important, aero-port, AMAZING, oops and Mama.

14. He doesn't think that going to work is a good enough reason to not go to Malaysia.

15. He has approximately 18 different laughs, all but one are fantastic. The one that isn't is the fake one. That one is just a little embarrassing.

16. His favourite musicians are Lily Allen, Corb Lund and the Dixie Chicks. 'Thank God he's a country boy!'

17. He has developed a habit of sitting DIRECTLY in front of the heater. When I tell him to move he tells me he's 'very cold'. But I raise my eyebrows and he moves, one centimetre by one centimetre until my eyebrows have come down.

He also has been going missing at creche, the girls figured this out after they kept finding him sitting on the floor underneath the hand dryer. He would sit down until it stopped blowing hot air. Stand up, press the button, sit underneath it. And repeat. Until they'd tell him to come out of the bathroom. Probably with their eyebrows raised.

18. He likes going to the doctor because they have an endless supply of lollies.

19. His new favourite thing is the hot water bottle.

20. He doesn't like people that 'drive silly'. He tells me constantly to turn my lights on and my blinkers on. To turn left. And to go over the 'boomps' (speed humps). He's the worst back seat, driving little person I've ever met.


Things The Bean has said:
The Jelly Bean is a procrastinator (no idea where he gets that from).

I told him about 70 000 times to put his shoes on one morning and he kept finding other 'important' things to do.

I got grouchy and shouted.
Me: Jelly Bean, we're going to be late, will you please HURRY UP!?
TB: (with his hands over his eyebrows)
OK, Mama! Put your eyes down. Say it nicely.