The boys, within minutes, were in a complete aeroplane/Angry Birds imaginary world - TB being happily taken along by the former and contributing whole heartedly to the latter. They were happy and insane and she and I were drinking coffee and laughing. We don't see each other very often, maybe once or twice a year although we literally live up the road from each other - literally. But as we all know life and time is busy, but as the old cliche goes, we always pick up where we left off and it was great.
We were talking about how the boys are, she could have a blog all of her own for the hilarity that comes out of her wee man's mouth, and we were in tears about the latest and greatest pearls of wisdom.
I was asking her about the obsessions in her house, TB is so about Angry Birds at the moment I'm about ready to shoot myself in the face, and her son is all about planes. In fact, on her recent trip to Bali, his first ever trip overseas, after she had planned water park, wildlife, temple visit, beach, pool, food adventures, ALL he talked about, to anyone who would listen, was the plane rides!
She had, last year, completed a course on emotional training and had, luckily, an ASD adult taking the course as well. She said that the trainers had nothing on the insight of this woman and she learnt so much from just listening to an adult Aspie explain exactly how it was - she was smarter than most people (she explained that it wasn't a judgment call, she just knew it), she couldn't at all fathom why Neurotypical (NT) people were so higgledy piggledy with the way they did everything, with all their emotions and hang ups, that she had learned that she needed to function in the NT world in order to fulfill her needs but also, that NT peeps would never be able to fathom the ASD obsessiveness.
This woman, once obsessed, needed to know everything about the thing that she loved. That she needed to explain, in infinite detail everything she had learned, every step along the way. That it was enough for her listeners to just make the right noises, to repeat back little bits of the conversation back (to show that they'd heard, if they didn't do this, she would need to explain again) in order for her to move on - to either finding out more info or to a new obsession (once everything was learned).
When my friend told me this, I looked into the lounge room at The Bean. I did switch off, often, when he starts telling me things. I hate that I do it, but I just don't care that much about Angry Birds. In fact, I'm really starting to dislike them. But that's not the point, is it? He LOVES them. And he needs, from me at the very least, but probably from everyone who loves him, to show interest in the things that he loves.
Because that's just how we love people.
So here are a list of both mine and The Jelly Bean's obsessions - some of them are from the past, some of them are present obsessions, some are long term, some will never ever go away.
* Trains
* Yoga
* Travel
* Angry Birds
* Red Hot Chili Peppers
* Grunge music
* Quentin Tarantino
* Dinosaurs
* Marbles
* The beach
* Dragon Cat
* the Coen Brothers
* Blues music
* Organic everything
* the Human Body
* Space
* the Babysitter's Club
* Writing
* Tattoos
* Boys
* Jenga
* Sir David Attenborough
* the Ocean
* Sustainability
* Batman
* Dragons
* Lego
* Pigs
* Gardening
* Vegetarianism
* Johnny Depp/Keanu Reeves/KurtCobain/Leonardo Di Caprio/Axl Rose/ Jon Bon Jovi/ Ice-T/Jimmy Smits/ Charlie Hunnam/Alexander Skarsgaard/Heath Ledger......
* Camping
* Op Shops
* Magic
* Harry Potter
* Dracula
* Sesame Street
* Asperger Syndrome
* Whales
* Dolphins
* Radio
* Colouring in
* Candles
* Namaste
* Buddhism
* Trampolines
* Coffee
* The Jelly Bean
I guess we're all kinda obsessed. We're all kinda whack jobs. My friend and I coined the perfect phrase yesterday.
Some of us are just 'High Functioning Whack Jobs'.
Things The Bean has said:
1. This is what I'm talking about!
Me: I had a good time at yoga today.
TB: Did your brain get happy?
Me: Yup
TB: Was it like all the Angry Birds were dancing around in your brain with happiness?
2. Corn
Me: See corn is yum.
TB: I don't like corn. It tastes like rocks and sticks. It tastes like rocks and sticks and twigs and stones all stuck together - that's what corn is made out of.
3. One of my brother's and my fave dishes when we were younger (an now, let's be honest) is Dad noodles - my father's invention.
TB: These Dad noodles are yum! Can I have some more when I'm finished?
Me: Sure.
TB: Yum yum yum, scribble all over the world even into space. ALL OVER THE UNIVERSE!
4. War 1
Me: I love coffee! I love coffee! I love coffee! I love coffee!
TB: Stop saying it!
Me: well you tell me all the time that you love Angry Birds!
TB: But Angry Birds is better than coffee.
Me: No way, man.
TB: Yes way. Angry Birds save the world.
Me: They do not, they just kill pigs.
TB: That is saving the world.
5.
TB: I could read yesterday in my brain.
Me: Yeah?
TB: My brain whispered the words and sent them out my ears and then it went back into my ears and up to my brain again and I heard it...... You can't see sounds can you?
6. Christmas shopping.
Me: What should we get for Ninna other than something with dragon flies? What else does she like?
TB: Red.
Me: She does like red. So what then?
TB: Some cherries... Or Paint.
7.
TB: No Mama, I'm already completely full. The poos are ready to come out, they're just stuck in traffic.
8.
Me: Clean your teeth properly. Like I showed you.
TB: You do it super fast and it's scratchy.
Me: You need to do it harder than you do it.
TB: When you do that I want to throw my toothbrush away to the moon!
9. Looking at the globe.
TB: I know London. L-on-don. It's an olden days word, the sound of a big clock ticking.
10.
TB: What movie are you going to see?
Me: It's called 'Catching Fire'
TB: That's a weird thing to catch, you can't take it home.
11. We had to have a chill out in my room while we had a house full of Sharer's (for more info if you haven't heard of it - www.facebook.com/happysharingday)
Me: Sharing Day gets a bit busy doesn't it?
TB: Yeah... But I didn't think I'd feel so happy.
12.
Me: Aussie mite is my favourite toast.
TB: I know, Mama.
Me: And you're my favourite child to eat up.
TB: Nooooooo! You can't eat me up.
Me: I can! I'm your Mama, I get to eat you up.
TB: Mama, what do I always wear?
Me: Huh? Your school uniform?
TB: No, clothes. And you can't eat things that wear clothes. Am I right?
13.
TB: Mama, do you know what I wish I had?
Me: What?
TB: A whale spout.
Me: Hahahahahah
TB: Then I wouldn't need to breathe through my mouth, I could just breathe through my head.... But you wouldn't like it Mama.
Me: Why?
TB: Because I'd have to live outside.
14.
TB: Mama, do you know what Olivia said at school?
Me: What?
TB: She said there's such a thing as girl power.
Me: Oh, yeah?
TB: Yeah, but she said there's not boy power.
Me: Well, it's not that there's no boy power, it's just that she's a girl and...
TB (in rage!): But Mama, what have I got at home?!
Me: What?!
TB: TWO light sabers!
15. Hippy.
TB: Mama, are you going to get that thing that came on when we were listening to Pandora?
Me: The speaker thing?
TB: Yeah.
Me: No that was just advertising, trying to get us to buy that speaker thing.
TB: I wish I could eat the whole world and say no advertising. And then I would spit it back out and go back into the world and land back home and there would be no more advertising.
16.
TB: Mama, it's not fair that kids get cafes and restaurants and adults get cafes and restaurants and bars. The world just needs to change.
17. Campsite buddhist philosophising with me and his Aunty Cat, that made my heart swell in awe.
TB: I think we're in a practice life.
AC: What do you mean?
TB: That this one is a practice and when we die we get a second life because we will get it right then.
AC: Really? Do you think anyone is on their second life already?
TB: No, everyone is still on their first life.
Me: I think you're very wise. I think maybe you're on your second life.
TB: Really? But I don't get life.
Me: What don't you get?
TB: Like how all the colours are made.
Post script
Last night I told the Jelly Bean to get in the car to go out for dinner, at a restaurant, for a friend's birthday. Upon arrival he asks me where his shoes are...
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