Reasons Why Being A Mum is ACE!

I love being a mum because I get to say all the really annoying things that I swore I'd never say. That irritated the life out of me when I was growing up (and until now, let's be perfectly frank). That came out of the mouths of my parents and other parents I see/hear/come into contact with/observe.

Namely, but not limited to:

The whiney parent voice -
"Will you PLEASE hurry up!? It cannot possibly take THAT long to put your shoes on/clean your teeth/eat your breakfast/go to sleep/take your shoes off/put your cars away!"

The out of control in the supermarket/street voice -
"No, Jelly Bean."
"Why?"
"Because I said so."
"But I want a dough nut/a new car/to go back to the park/to stay FIVE MORE MINUTES!!"
[Tantrum starts to bubble.]
"You don't get what you want if you talk to me like that."
"Mamaaaaaaaaaa!!!"
[Tears begin to well!]
"I said no!"
"But whyyyyyyyyyy?"
"Because I'm the mum, that's why!"
[Crying ensues]
"That's it, we're going home."
....
"WILL YOU JUST GET IN THE CAR!"

The absolutely astounded at the logic voice -
"WHAT? Why is all the washing I just folded ALL OVER THE LOUNGE ROOM FLOOR?!"
"I was helping, Mama."
"Got to your room."
(Not proud of that one!)

The I've said this too many times voice -
"Will you please stop throwing those cars?"
"I'm not throwing them, Mama. They're landing on the floor."
or
"What do you say?" (Inferring that manners are needed here/now - this phrase comes out of my mouth about 76000 times per day)
or
"Mama?"
"Yeah?"
"Mama?"
"Yes."
"Mama? um... Mama?"
"Oh my god, I'm changing my name."

The option to say goofy words voice -
Some of my favourites are 'Holy Moly!' 'Holy Ca-roly' (I made that one up myself to avoid saying saying Holy Crap once), dangle, swishy, Jelly Bean, spunk face, Ha-Ha (his asthma pump, cause you have to breath 'Ha... Ha' into it), poos, wees, poooowee! plus the option to talk about myself in the third person whenever I feel like it - "Ok, you just do that, and Mama will do this!" (It's fab!)

I also love being a mum because I get to help The Bean with projects! He had his first show and tell today. They are having Multi-Cultural week at creche and he took in lots of photos from our trip to Malaysia. He talked about the photos and the other kids got to look at ticket stubs and baggage tags and photos of his mum with snakes draped all over her head. I couldn't have been prouder than when two little boys asked me today if I was scared when I touched the snakes. I was also so proud of The Bean for being so brave and standing up at group time and explaining all about his holiday to all of his friends in the Rainbow Room.

I love being a mum when it's really cold and you get extra cuddles on the couch in front of the heater. Especially in the 'zone out' time not long before dinner needs to be made and we both stare out the window for a few minutes watching the 'swishy tree outside'.

I love being a mum when I have finished all my homework and I get to pick him up from creche and not have to get on the computer when I get home.

I love being a mum when he reads books back to me.

I love being a mum when you have to check for head lice.
"Honey, if you just stand still I'll be finished really quickly."
[wriggle, squirm, walk away]
"But I want to play with my cars."
"If you stop wriggling, seriously, stop wriggling, it'll take two minutes."

I love being a mum when he asks for Wasabi peas and you give him one and he takes one and then eats three in total before he asks for a drink.

I love being a mum when he is in the bath and the steam fills up the shower screen and he calls out,
"Mama! I found a raindrop for you!"

I love being a mum when I get to say good night to him and he is safe and in his bed and clean and warm and full and happy. I love getting to kiss his face off even when we've argued about what toys he can and can't take to bed with him. I love saying "Goodnight, baby. I love you so much."

I love it even more when he loves me so much right back.

Things The Bean has said:

After staring at our empty gold fish tank.
JB: We need to get a new black fish.
Me: Really? (Insert skeptical, unexcited tone)
JB: Yep. And he needs to eat those trees for dinner.
Me: Those trees are plastic.
JB: No, they're not plak-stick. He can eat them.
Me: Fish can't eat plastic.
JB: He can eat some rocks.
Me: Fish don't eat rocks!
JB: Hahahahahahahahaha
Me: Heheehe
JB: Well, you'll just have to get him some fish dinner, then.


Another Thing The Bean has said:

JB: "Mama, there's a phone-asaurus in my dinosaur bag."
Me: "A what?"
JB: "He's not a tyrannasaurus rex. He's silver. He's a phone-asaurus and he goes like this 'olololololoooolololo'."
Me: "A phone-asaurus?"
JB: "Yep, and he can talk."